Hawkshadow

[Sentinel]

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Hawkshadow [break] 48 moons & Tom & Straight [break] Played by Sentinel

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Overall Appearance: Hawkshadow is a very large tabby cat. His chestnut brown and tan, striped coat is thin, showing his muscles just beneath the skin. His chartreuse and olive green eyes are startling bright, and his long claws are as sharp as his teeth. His tail is long and thin. He stands just slightly taller than the average cat.[break][break]

In-Depth Color: He has a chestnut brown and tan striped coat, and chartreuse and olive eyes.[break][break]

In-Depth Build: He has short fur, which shows his large muscles. He's a bit taller than the average cat. His tail is long and thin, and is claws are very long and sharp like his teeth.[break][break]

Personality: This tom cat does not like nor trust strangers... or even most of his own Clan members. Because he is a clever cat, he views nearly all cats as incompetent. But sometimes he makes and exception for the she-cats. He loves flirting with them, and has a charming air about him when he is around one. He stands tall and proud, chest puffed out. When he isn't snarky and annoyed, he is very polite, making sure the other cat is having a nice time.[break][break]

+ Caring[break]Smart[break]Charming[break]Flirty[break][break]

- Rude[break]Cynical[break]Overconfident in himself[break][break]

; Proud[break]Has common sense[break]Courteous[break][break]

Skill Paragraph: With his large size, Hawkshadow has a large mass of muscles. This allows him to climb easily in what little able-trees his territory has and fight dangerously. Sadly, it means that he can not swim or sneak across open landscape. He is able to remain silent, though, in the underbrush, and can hunt rather well.[break][break]

Positive Skill List: Climbing[break]Fighting[break][break]

Negative Skill List: Can't swim[break]Can't stalk well in the open[break][break]

Average Skill List: Hunting[break]Stalking in the trees and bushes[break][break]

Likes: Knowing more than others[break]Being in control[break]Winning[break][break]

Dislikes: Idiocy[break]Open fields[break]Water[break]Hunting[break][break]

Fears: Drowning[break]Losing his rank[break][break]

Goals: Becoming Clan leader, whether by making his own or taking over ShadeClan[break][break]

Overall History: Hawkkit was very curious and quiet. As an apprentice, he trained hard and practiced often. Now, as a warrior, he is trying to appeal to the leader and deputy to earn the title Deputy.[break][break]

In-Depth History: As a kit, Hawkkit snuck around and listened to the warriors' conversations. He quickly learned new things about the other Clans and about the world he lived in. He also hung around the elders, and soon took on the attitude of being smarter than most cats, and he was. His mother, OPEN, encouraged his pursuit of knowledge as well. His father, OPEN, was proud of his clever kit.[break]
Hawkpaw was a stubborn, relentless apprentice. He pestered his mentor, Harebelly, constantly in order to practice fighting or hunting - he preferred sparing, though. He learned almost all fighting moves with ease, and became a warrior just under 12 moons old.

[attr="class","trinCredits"]TABLE BY TRINITY @ ADOXOGRAPHY

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[Winter Sunflower]

Hey, Sentinel, if you are done with your app, you should take off the 'wip'

[Winter Sunflower]

Cynical? What is it about Hawkshadow that is cynical?

[Sentinel]

He doesn't trust anyone and thinks almost everyone is stupid Winter Sunflower

[Winter Sunflower]

You need to edit your first post

[Sentinel]

I thought I have everything on it? I used the code given.

[Winter Sunflower]

Code is fine. But you need to say how Hawkshadow is cynical on the app. The thread itself is not the application, per say. It's the post with all the information that is the app.

[Sentinel]

That doesn't make much sense but it says under Personality how he is cynical.

"Personality: This tom cat does not like nor trust strangers... or even most of his own Clan members. Because he is a clever cat, he views nearly all cats as incompetent. But sometimes he makes and exception for the she-cats. He loves flirting with them, and has a charming air about him when he is around one. He stands tall and proud, chest puffed out. When he isn't snarky and annoyed, he is very polite, making sure the other cat is having a nice time.[break][break]"

[Sentinel]

I'm also not receiving notifications in my participated button for this thread o.o that's why I take a while to reply...

[Winter Sunflower]

Oh, sorry, my apologies.

Anyways, instead of putting 'Slightly Full Of Himself', maybe putting "high self esteem" would be better?

Also, the characteristics 'rude' and 'polite' clash. Is he either rude or polite? He can't be both.

[Sentinel]

"When he isn't snarky and annoyed, he is very polite, making sure the other cat is having a nice time."
As in if he actually trusts them or thinks they're smart as well, he is polite with them.

Also, you can have a high self esteem and not be rude, so I made it overconfident in himself

[Sunny]

Sentinel , your form looks fine, but at WNT, we usually do not allow contradicting personalities. I do understand your point - all cats/humans can be polite when they find the right cat/person to be polite to (in your case, when another cat is smart/trustworthy). However, we usually like to prevent any confusion by making sure each application has no two traits that contradict each other. When roleplaying, you can certainly make Hawkshadow polite when talking to another cat he likes, but when writing an application we would rather you choose either polite or rude. You can roleplay him being the opposite in certain circumstances otherwise, but we're looking for his base personality - all mean cats can be nice SOMETIMES, but they all have a base personality. I will be adding that question as an FAQ question, by the way, because it's a good question.

[Sentinel]

Deleted it.

[Sunny]

You cannot roleplay your cat without it being accepted. Did you delete your application?

[Sentinel]

No, this is it. I've done everything you all asked three days ago, and he was still not moved.

[Sunny]

Sentinel, sorry about that, we got a little confused with looking at your application. I have a few more things, and that's it:

Positive Skill List: I don't think you should include "strong" in your skill lists. It is not necessarily a skill; more of a physical trait. I understand that it could give the cat helpful skills, such as the ones you listed: "Climbing", "Fighting". So please delete that.

Average Skill List/Skill Paragraph: I saw that you included "girls" in the average skill list. Please detail in the paragraph.

Skill Lists/Paragraph: Now you just need to even the traits our so that they are equal in both negattive and positive categories. The average skill list can be left alone.

And that's it!!

[Sentinel]

not sure where I got girls from lol... so I deleted it along with strong

[Winter Sunflower]

Please add two more neutral traits and then you will be all set!

[Sentinel]

Edited.
If I have to edit one more thing I'm gonna flip. You should explain the bios more in the template or something so people don't have to wait 10 days for their characters' apps do be accepted.

[Winter Sunflower]

Yeah, I have been meaning to do something about that but I haven't gotten the chance.

Anyways, accepted!